I always find it sad that somewhere between childhood and adolescence we start to become self conscious. I've often wondered what it is that causes us to start becoming inhibited and concerned about what others think of us.
The other day I had a little bit of insight into this and was sad to discover that maybe we as parents have a little something to do with trying to mold our children to "fit in " to society and it's rules.
Harper and I were hanging out at home. I'd asked him if he wanted to use scotch tape to help me with something I was working on. I thought I'd be goofy and tape my nose up. Well, we ended up covering our faces with scotch tape laughing hysterically.
It was just a little while before we had to leave to run some errands. When we were getting ready to go Harper asked if he could keep his face tape on. My initial reaction was to say no.
Then he asked why?
I realized I didn't have a good reason.
Why couldn't he?
I knew it was because I would be thinking about what was on other people's minds. I've thought this before... He can't run outside barefoot... He can't go to school with messy crazy hair.... He can't climb up the slide....He can't be outside in his underpants... He can't pretend to be playing with a gun...He can't go to the store in his PJ's... So many rules that I, at some point, made and never even had a reason to enforce besides that I was worried about what others would think.
Saying yes means so much to our children.
Of course we have to give them guidelines, but when they're asking to do something, especially when it's expressing their individuality, or imagination we need to really think about it before we automatically answer with a no.
I'd hate to learn that I'd been the one to cause my children to fear doing something they wanted because they may face judgement.
We have all of adulthood to follow (or not follow) rules.
For now, I'll let them be free.
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