My beautiful son,
How is it possible that you're six?
It seems like yesterday you were your sister's age, a toddler, adorable as can be. Super shy, incredibly intuitive, stubborn and brilliant. The only part that has changed a bit there is the shy part. You really have built some confidence within the last year. I can tell that you're a leader when I see you with your friends at school, and you're no longer afraid to approach another kid at the park to play. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but I am glad to see that you've become confident and even bold at times!
You're a collector. You have a treasure box filled with shells, pinecones, confetti and acorns. Broken jewelry, found barrettes, popped balloons, and stones of every shape and size. You're always on the hunt for something special. I love this about you. I need to remember to travel with big pockets, because we always end up filling them with your finds when we're out on an adventure.
You can write sentences and stories now, and you've melted my heart with this skill. Recently you brought home a small notebook on a string around your neck; a prize from the treasure box at school. I melted into a heap of mush when I looked inside to see that you'd written 2 things. Your name on one page and "I love my mom" on the other. Yesterday when I went into my notes section on my phone, I discovered that you'd typed the same thing there too.
I must admit that last year has been one of the most challenging. You can be a little pain in the ass sometimes! But then I realize, can't we all? After a particularly difficult day, once you guys are fast asleep and we have time to reflect, I want you to know that your daddy and I work REALLY hard to try to figure out why things were the way they were and try SO hard to understand how you and your sister feel. I'm gonna tell you, kiddo, grown ups are the ones who are wired differently; not kids. Your daddy and I try VERY hard to be the absolute best parents that we can be for you guys, and when we have a bad day, or when we screw up, I take consolation in knowing that we put every ounce of everything we have into trying to be good parents to you. We're a good team. A GREAT team. I hope and pray that as you grow, you know that, and will always remain close to us.
Speaking of growing, can you slow it down, please? Why does six sound SO OLD??!! It's like you're a bonafide BIG KID now! The term big kid even sounds too little to say now that you're SIX. You're just a regular kid! I can still hold you, though, and mark my words, I'll be holding you as long as I can (watch out, I've been working out!) You DID stop kissing me in front of the safety patrols in car line towards the end of last year. I always told you that time would come! I was so happy when you showered me with hugs and kisses this morning and proudly said " See? I'll still hug and kiss you when I'm big!" My heart.
Today, your birthday was wonderful. I know your favorite part was presents, balloons, Glazer and treats, but my favorite part was tonight, at bedtime, when I read you each letter I wrote to you on your birthdays in the past. You laid there quietly and held on to each and every word with a smile on your beautiful face. I tried to keep my voice from cracking, but I let it go. You're used to my happy tears now. You understand.
Happy Birthday, my beautiful first born baby boy. Thank you for making me a mom. You're my saving grace.
All of my love forever and always, Mama xxoo
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